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Jus back from my grandma's last day of funeral...
Back from Mandai...
Have been up early in the morning today with barely few hours of sleep the nite before..
My two Nieces, Jodine and Sabrina came to the wake ytd with their mom...
And they two came specially to accompany me for the whole nite till this afternoon..
Thanks My two Sweeties... :)
Havent seen them for a month, and had a great nite chatting the nite away....
Lots of laughter to cheer my unhappy heart...
The three of us plus Ting~~~
And also Thanks to Mr DErrick for buying supper for us...
My Favorite BBQ Chicken Wings...!
This Kind fella came all the way from Jurong down to my Grandma's wake...
Then went all the way to Newton, jus to buy the chix Wings... :P
Thanks alot, Dude....

Now the time is 7pm, which I jus reached home...
Whole Body exhausted...
Saw my grandma's ashes today...
My first time seeing Human's ashes...
Heart jus cant stop aching...
When we went back from Mandai to have lunch...
While I was eating...
I jus had a so strange feeling and a feeling that makes me wanna teared again n again...
Because my grandma was not there eating together with us.... :(
I already feel so accustomed to seeing my grandma Sitting there...
Picking at her food... then spitting out some food she doesnt like...
I somehow imagined her sitting there and eating... *cries*
Later on... I couldnt take it anymore...
And Broke down in tears...
I jus wan ah ma back can?
I jus missed her so so badly now....... *sniffles*
Ah ma.. come into my dreams tonight, will ya....
I jus wan to hug you and talk to you again.... +_+

She's not there to hold my hand and say why is it so cold? And saying to me, yr mother didnt give you eat tonics is it?
She is not there for me to hold her to walk...
She is not there to let me tease her anymore....
*Sob Sobs*

And tomolo I will be going back to MelB le...
Cant bear to leave once again...
Will be meeting my CMAJ gang for KOKA steamboat lunch tomolo b4 Going to airport...
Then after dat they will send me to airport together with my family and God ma....

Huiling Will be meeting me at the train station in MelB when I arrive on Sun...
Everybody Wans me to be happy and not think so much...
But Its jus so difficult...
Today was the day where I havent cried so hard in a long time....
Crying out for Ah ma when Her coffin was pushed into the flames....
Yelling out and crying uncontrollably....
Yet who can console me?

I jus need some time alone, I guess...
Away from everyone...
And guess I will be by myself... veri soon...

PS: Warm apologies for not meeting up with my Sistas, JoAnne dearie and Anni tonight....
Gers, Hope you will understand...
Jus now in the best of moods right now...
And with tired mind, heavy heart...
A good Rest is all I need Now...

And my last words...
For those who had attended my grandmother's wake...
I sincerely thank you for coming...
Deeply appreciate your kind thoughts from me...

Thanks you.

Vulnerably Nes

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